At Pillar, we are now in a period of Performance management. This is the time when we evaluate our subordinates and get feedback from them. In this article, we will tell you how to give and receive good feedback and not spoil the atmosphere in the team.
Feedback is our subjective opinion about a person’s actions.
Usually, we give feedback to change or reinforce the behavior of the other person. Whether we are saying that the person is doing a good job or that we can improve, we hope that the person will gladly accept our feedback and correct their actions. “It’s all for his good! I just want to help,” we think.
But in real life, things are different. Often, after hearing comments, people are not ready to accept them and make changes. Kevin Ochsner, a neuroscientist at Columbia University, has found that, on average, people don’t use more than 30% of the comments they receive. And where do the other 70% go? They are ignored because the negativity doesn’t fit in with the person’s self-image or the critic doesn’t command much respect.
So how do you properly give feedback to your subordinates?
- Give feedback when you are asked for it. Or when you need it (like performance management). Before you speak, ask, “Can I share my opinion with you?” And only after the person agrees, speak. Nothing is as annoying as feedback when you’re not prepared for it.
- Talk about the business, not the person’s personality. The thing that often hurts in feedback is that you are hurt as a person (think of something like “responsible employees don’t do that”). This applies to positive feedback as well. Use the words “well done” or “great job” – all about actions, not personality.
- Be specific. Imagine that your subordinate is constantly late for important gatherings. Talk about one specific instance, conveying the importance of the situation. For example: “Remember two weeks ago, at the previous debriefing, when we were waiting for you? You were 30 minutes late when the whole team was already assembled, and we didn’t finish the meeting on time.” It’s hard to argue with the facts, so the person will likely take your words to heart without offense or doubt, and finally take note that being late is bad.
- Balance positive and negative feedback. Often it happens: a person works, copes – and okay, it’s his responsibility. But if they make a mistake, we say so right away. So, it turns out that we scold a lot, but praise little. Since this person works for you, they know how to do something great – tell them about it, and awareness of their strengths is very motivating. And then turn to the “areas of growth” – what they can improve.
- Select the style of feedback depending on the employee. “How to” and “how not to” are favorite forms of feedback for many people. This directive approach works very well with those who are new to the task-they don’t know what to do, where to do it, and most importantly, how to do it. But this sort of thing rarely works with experienced professionals – they are usually much more experienced than supervisors or co-workers in their tasks, and so they often don’t take feedback. “I know the situation better than he does. What can he advise me?”Here it is more effective to take a non-directive, or coaching, approach and find a solution, not through guidance, but questions, such as: “What goals have you set for yourself?”, “What have you already accomplished?”, “What challenges have you encountered?”, and others. Such questions stimulate the employee to think, to feel his expertise, and to awaken awareness.
- Earn the trust of colleagues and employees. Show your interest in the person by sharing observations about their work, show your expertise by understanding the situation, and offer options, after implementing which the employee will see results. Then, the person will only be happy to have an additional meeting with you and your opinion on their work because it promotes them in their tasks.
- Make feedback regular. You need this so that employees or colleagues get used to and appreciate it, rather than being surprised by your recommendations and questions along the lines of, “What could have been done differently here?”:)
And how do you get feedback?
Ask for feedback in advance. That way the person will have a chance to observe your work and note your strengths and weaknesses.
You may hear a lot of unexpected things in the feedback, both good and bad. Be prepared for that. Remember that feedback is always a subjective story, and different people’s opinions can and should differ. Don’t argue, just accept it.
Ask clarifying questions and ask for specific examples. Don’t stop at “everything is fine” or “I like working with you.”
